As I am on a continuous quest to better myself, this time of year is a chance for me to renew my efforts and sit down to make a to do list, AKA New Year’s resolutions. I would like to believe that I am good at keeping these promises every year but I also think the act of trying is just as important. Without further ado, here they are:
Be more present with my children and show patience, patience, patience-As a stay at home mom it is very easy for me to get lost in the day to day routine. Meals, cleaning, baths, back and forth trips to school, homework, and finally flopping down on the couch at the end of the day blends into a Groundhog Day like existence. When I do get a minute to myself, I snap if one of the kids’ tries to interrupt. I instantly feel bad and the kids’ feelings are hurt. I have to remind myself that being a good parent is a marathon and sometimes you have to push through the uphill battles. Curls and Red are my number one priority in life and raising them to be responsible and caring adults is at the top of my life goals. It is above writing a successful/good novel, which is right below. Making time for them outside of the norm is a struggle for me because I am always thinking of what needs to be done next. And showing patience when I am interrupted during a task is even worse. But if I put this in writing and out into the world, give myself daily reminders, and remember that they are little people that need my guidance, maybe this is a goal that is attainable.
More reading and writing, less everything else-From the time Curls and Red get up from the moment they fall asleep, it feels impossible to sit down and get some writing done. On a good day I can get an hour in. But when they fall asleep, all I want to do is cruise the internet (Pinterest, anyone?) or watch television. But I feel less and less satisfied with these activities and how they don’t contribute to me accomplishing my goals. Down time is important for everyone but the older I get and not getting any closer to my dream, the more frustrated I become. So I have vowed (again) to start cutting out the unnecessary stuff. The internet is the devil’s playground for a writer due to it’s easy access. I have read that some writers shut off their wi-fi when they are trying to get their word count in. That would be hard for me but I am willing to try anything. As for television, cutting out shows that I can’t wait to watch the minute they air are in order(so glad Sons of Anarchy is over for the year). 2014 is the year I am going to finish my book and everything else will have to wait.
Choose to be happy-I workout. I have tried meditating. I am grateful for my family, my house, and the fact that I can be at home with my kids. But depression still threatens to take over. I try and focus on the positive to keep it at bay but a lot of days happiness isn’t the focus, getting through it is. But I am ready to be happy. No matter what comes my way next year, I will keep in mind that things will get better and tomorrow is always a do over.
Don’t compare myself to others-This goes along with choosing to be happy. In this day of social media, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter are here for us to show the world what is going on in our every day lives. As a mom, I watch friends do this and that, show pictures of their beautifully decorated homes, the activities they do with their kids, and so on, and so on. It is very hard to not get down on myself. But little by little I am trying to remind myself that we all have our strengths and weaknesses. My house doesn’t look as nice. I may not have a job that pays me. I may not be as crafty as I like to be. But I know that I have my positives, even if it is easier to remember the negatives. This resolution is my biggest hurdle but I vow to not be as hard on myself.
I wish love and happiness to all of you in the New Year. Thank you for sticking with me as I celebrate my one year anniversary writing this blog!